Johnny The Saurus

oh and another thing

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 02:06:41 GMT

These specific lyrics apparently do not exist on the internet, so I typed them out. Here, internet.

I did this once before for A Machine In India, by the Flaming Lips:

Future generations will recognize me as perhaps the century's leading lyrics historian and archivist.

=========================
Get Together, as sung by The Carpenters

Love is but the song we sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or hear the angels cry

Though the dove is on the wing
you need not know why

come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
love one another right now

some will come and some will go
this will surely pass
when the one who left us here
returns for us at last

we are but a moment's sunlight
fading in the grass

come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
love one another right now

if you hear the song we sing
you will understand

you hold the key to love and fear
it's in your trembling hand

one key unlocks them both you know
it's at your command

come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
love one another right now
================

It's actually a really nice song. I particularly like

"this will surely pass
when the one who left us here
returns for us at last"

it's sung so sweetly, but it's such a frightening reminder that a large portion of the American electorate literally believe in the idea of Armageddon as told by the Book of Revelations. A nice mixture of sweetness and terror. The Germans probably have a word for it.

to whoever designed that smiley banner ad that shouts "HELLOOOOO?!!" at you randomly

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 01:31:58 GMT

I hope a baboon rapes you.

I was starting to be afraid no-one would say it

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 02:13:35 GMT

I was not one of the people most vocally opposing Stephen Harper in the last election. I didn't really believe all the criticisms that he was a Bush Jr. Jr...however, after all of his Afgrahndistanding (heh) lately, I started to feel very uneasy.

Did you hear him talking about "cutting and running?" He's not even re-writing the bullshit, just passing it directly from Dubya through himself, like undigested corn kernels rinsed off and served as dinner.

http://www.nupge.ca/presidentscommentary/n16ma06d.htm
full text pasted below

Mr. Harper goes to war

This past week we have seen extensive news coverage of the visits to Afghanistan by Prime Minister Harper and the Chief of the Defence Staff, General Hillier. These intensely scripted events are obvious attempts to generate public support for continued Canadian involvement in a conflict that has become distinctly unpopular with the citizens of this country.

Repeatedly we are told that Canadians are not quitters, that waning public support jeopardizes the safety of our troops, that our troops are committed troops and we must stay the course. We hear a host of other sound bites as well, all trying to deny the Canadian people what they most want - which is a little democracy.

The truth is that Canadian forces are now involved in a war which was never debated or voted upon by the House of Commons. I absolutely concur with those who believe that before we further risk the lives of our men and women in uniform this entire endeavor must be subjected to public scrutiny. Failure to do so debases our democracy. I also think it sells short the capacity of Canadians to make informed decisions on such matters.

March 18th marks the third anniversary of the commencement of the U.S.-led war on Iraq (see Canadian Peace Alliance website for events marking the anniversary). When the war began, Canada decided not to take an active role. Canadians supported that decision and their judgment has been vindicated.

War and occupation are illegal

It has now been well established that the weapons of mass destruction (WMD), the pretense for the war, did not exist. Furthermore, the evidence cited to prove the existence of WMDs was false. Whether this was a case of the misinterpretation of facts or outright falsehoods by the Bush and Blair administrations is a matter of debate.

However, it is pretty clear that the war, and occupation, are illegal under international law. Neither has been sanctioned by the United Nations and these actions remain unsupported by the overwhelming majority of the world's governments.

While there is no disagreement that the former Iraqi regime was brutal and dictatorial, the war has clearly made things worse for many of Iraq's people. Many intelligence experts believe that the ongoing conflict is increasing the global threat of terrorism, not reducing it. And it is difficult to see any end in the near future.

Perhaps the Harper government is afraid that good old fashioned Canadian common sense will once again show itself right about Afghanistan as it was about Iraq.

There is very little doubt in my mind that had Stephen Harper been prime minister three years ago Canada would now have troops in Iraq. He loudly condemned the Chrétien government for not participating in the war. I worry that the new prime minister's desire to build a closer relationship with the George Bush government is taking precedence over the concerns of Canadians.

NUPGE's clear position

The National Union was among those the many organizations that spoke out in opposition to the war in Iraq. With protests being planned to commemorate the third anniversary of the war, I look back on what we said as a union at the outset and I believe our assessment remains as valid today as it was then. Not in our name - March 2003

We have no qualms about standing firmly behind the position we took then and doing so in open and public debate. The question to be asked now is: Will Prime Minister Harper allow that debate to take place?

A footnote concerning war resisters

I want to bring to your attention the situation of U.S. war resisters in Canada.

Two of these men, Jeremy Hinzman, 27, and Brandon Hughey, 20, have taken a deeply felt moral position against fighting in the Iraq war. These two young men, whose cases for asylum are before a Federal Court, faced a decision that many of us will never have to confront. They have, in my opinion, demonstrated exemplary courage in choosing to leave family and friends behind and come to Canada rather than fight.

Their biggest mistake, it seems, was being born into the American working class - and wanting to pursue American dream for themselves. The U.S. army offers one of the few avenues for many American youth to go to college. Promised an opportunity to improve their lot in life, they signed up. What they did not foresee was being made pawns in an illegal war.

In the past, Canada has provided a refuge for U.S. citizens who decide not to support their nation's military follies overseas. Another Prime Minister, Pierre Trudeau, took a clear stand in support of a generation of U/S. war resisters during the Vietnam era.

The statement Trudeau made at the time remains just as valid today: "Those who make the conscientious judgment that they must not participate in this war ... have my complete sympathy, and indeed our political approach has been to give them access to Canada. Canada should be a refuge from militarism."

The National Union absolutely agrees and joins the demand for the federal government to take whatever steps are necessary allow US war resisters to stay in Canada.

James

James Clancy,
National President
National Union of Public and General Employees

well they're new to me

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 01:46:43 GMT

"Libra
Sept 23 - Oct 22

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are most likely gay. Most Libra women are considered easy. Changes of employment lead to are expected because of your inability to cope."

I just think that's really funny, and I laughed hard, maybe because some of it resonated too much. Mostly the first sentence, and the fourth, and somehow also the third.

Maybe humour and deep personal insights also await you at:

http://www.bitoffun.com/Horoscopes.htm

Post your own!

Minsic Scapon

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 19:43:46 GMT

I can't find my camera (I just moved 2 months ago, do you think I can find it? Hah!), so here's a typed recreation of the credits on a bootlegged DVD of the Godfather I happen to be looking at:

PARMOUNT PICTURES priesenits THE GODFATHER

AN ALBEBT S RUDDY production Starring AI PACINO DIANE KEATON TALIA SHIRE ANDY GARCIA ROBERT DUVALL STGERLING HAYDEN JOHN MARLEY RICHARD CONTE KEATON Minsic Scapon NINO ROTA Septtipiny by MARIO PUZO and FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA Bassenl on MARIO PUZO'S Neved "THE GODFATHER"

Praduced by ALBERT S,RUDDY Diraciod by FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA

1990 Paramount Pictures ALL Rights Neseprred

And what a Septtipiny it was.

I just can't get enough of this picture...

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 00:33:35 GMT

google, if you're smart, find this

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 04:33:56 GMT

I tried searching for the lyrics to the last song I was listening to, A Machine In India by The Flaming Lips, and Google failed me. That's right, you heard right, it failed miserably. All I got was shitty malicious pop-up-ridden lyrics site after lyrics site, all with a page full of links to every song on that album, Zaireeka. Every link on every site popped up a 'whoops, we don't have that song!' page. And did anyone else notice that they seem to have cracked Firefox's pop-up blocker already? Where's the countermeasures? I DEMAND COUNTERMEASURES!

Anyway, this is my gift to the internet: I listened to the whole song again (it's ok, I like it, and it's very slow-paced, I didn't even have to pause it once) and wrote down the lyrics. They're a little odder, and more vaginal than I expected:

-----
I'm goin to India
over and over again

I'm standing in a cylinder
seein all the bleedin vaginas

I feel it now comin over me
so I strive to love the messiah

I...la

I'm goin to India
over and over again

I'm rushin to the nearest station
feet and hands collide with the driver

all that I think all I thought and all I know
the syrian missile guides itself into the vaginas

I...la

I'm goin to India
over and over again

I'm goin to India
over and over again

I'm goin to India
over and over again

I'm goin to India
India
-----

Now, Google, if you're such hot shit, find THIS webpage when people search for Zaireeka, and send it to the top. Do what you claim to do. If you fail, maybe you're full of shit.

if anyone's looking for last minute ideas

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 04:09:25 GMT

http://www.forbes.com/2005/10/27/halloween-masks-star-wars_cx_de_deadceleb05_1027starwars.html

http://www.forbes.com/2005/10/26/halloween-masks-celebrities_cx_lh_deadceleb05_1024celebmasks.html

I look like a monkey, and I smell like one too

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 14:43:54 GMT

Hey, I'm 34 years old today.

*blows the birthday kazoo*

I'll have internet soon, and I'll post some of the writing I've been doing. Having no internet at home has made me write about 20 pages, so far, of self-reflection. It's been pretty enlightening for me, too.

Stephen King once said, on the importance of keeping a journal, something like: "If you haven't written it down, you don't really know what you think." It's really been helping me figure out who I am, where I'm going, and where to steer the second-ish half of this life.

Livejournal is good, but sometimes you do need a private place to write, where you can just ramble and not worry about how you're coming across.

See - now, here, I just feel like I'm self-aggrandizing. I think having too much guilt and shame is one of those things I need to work on :)

fascinating update

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 19:19:56 GMT

* moved into new place - check (after being screwed by movers not showing up, just like last move. Different movers, even.)

* internet access at new place - nope, due to me procrastinating on it like a dumb-head

* completely swamped at new job, due to boss, who was training me, having a baby, and now I'm doing his job in addition to mine - check (this is why I can't be in irc these days, I just can't resist the temptation of reading it/posting in it, and I have an increasing mountain of work to do every day now)

* still sane - barely, check

* researching alternate career - check

* love for you all - check

this game takes extreme to a new extreme, out of the box paradigm

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 01:20:17 GMT

http://www.mausland.de/swfpopup.php?file=235

INDIAN OUTLAW

things that would be hard to live with, part 1:

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 01:00:02 GMT

In many organisms, the eyes of an albino appear red due to the underlying blood vessels showing through where there is not enough pigment to cover them. In humans this is generally not the case, as a human eye is quite large and thus produces enough pigment to lend opacity to the eye. Despite this, completely red eyes resulting from a lack of melanin to cover the underlying blood vessels are not unknown in humans.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albino

(italics added)

I tried google image search but all those yantras fuckin suck

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 22:16:35 GMT

does anyone know where I could find some sweet yantras?

pretty interesting link about traffic jams, why they develop, and how you can actually affect them

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 21:29:52 GMT

http://www.eskimo.com/~billb/amateur/traffic/traffic1.html

How did I miss this? It makes me so proud, and I'm not normally a vocal patriot:

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 23:50:44 GMT

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE September 4, 2002
Center for Cognitive Liberty & Ethics
Phone & Fax 530-750-7912

Canadian Senate Committee Calls For Legalizing Marijuana

The prohibition of marijuana use must end, proclaims a report to be released today by the Canadian Senate Committee on Illegal Drugs.

The unanimous report hopes to bring Canadian policy into the new millennium and out of the politically motivated and costly US-led War on (Some) Drugs. "Scientific evidence overwhelmingly indicates that cannabis is substantially less harmful than alcohol and should be treated not as a criminal issue but as a social and public health issue,” explained Senator Pierre Nolin, the committee’s chairperson.

The report courageously refutes the outdated ideological positions propounded in the U.S. by such influential people as the Drug Czar John Walters and the DEA director, Asa Hutchenson: both have pressured the Canadian government to impose stronger anti-drug laws. Not only does the report call for legalization, but it also argues for a modification to the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act that would provide amnesty for Canadians previously convicted of marijuana possession.

Recognizing that the current prohibition laws have failed, the report recommends that the government focus instead on illegal drug trafficking, prevention programs, and respecting the rights and freedoms of Canadians. Revising the law is necessary said Senator Nolin, because “In many ways, prohibition is a cop-out.”

“In Canada where the majority of the population opposes the criminalization of marijuana use,” said Mark Bryan, Summer Fellow for the U.S.-based Center for Cognitive Liberty and Ethics, “the Senate’s report has the potential to convince the federal government to assert its sovereignty, and stop allowing the Americans to bully them into maintaining policies which clearly are not in the best interest of the Canadian people.” Mr. Bryan, a Canadian citizen, is looking forward to returning home “to a less oppressive country than the one I am currently in.”

The Canadian Senate’s report coincides with debates currently underway in Nevada and Arizona concerning marijuana decriminalization. Nevadans will vote on November 9th on an initiative that will make the possession of up to three ounces of marijuana legal. Many states have already voted in favor of permitting the use of medical marijuana, but have been facing difficulties because of the US federal government’s refusal to recognize the democratic will of American citizens.

“For a country that champions the ideal of freedom, America is far behind both Europe and Canada, where the ‘reefer madness’ days are coming to a much-lauded end. It is about time the American populace stood up and demanded its Constitutional rights. Without the freedom to manage one’s own brain chemistry, the basis of one’s thinking processes, the First Amendment right to freedom of speech and religion are meaningless,” noted Mr. Bryan.

Fido: here's a voice-activated command for you: "fuck off"

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 21:40:41 GMT

Here's how the new voice-activated pre-paid account refilling system works, in practice:

Amanda (yes, the automated attendant gives you her name. Who cares?) "Will you be paying with a credit card, or voucher?"

me: voucher.

Amanda: "I'm sorry, I didn't get that."

me: VOU-CHER

Amanda: (after a long pause) "I'm sorry, I still didn't get that."

me: (literally yelling now) VOU! CHER! VOUCHER!!

Amanda: (after a long pause) "Did you say....a voucher?"

me: YES

Amanda: "ok!"

Thanks Fido, this is SO much easier than the old clunky 'push 1 for voucher' system we had before! Three times I've used this new system, and everytime it's the same. It takes 5 times as long as it should. Why do phone systems always need to be 'improved' this way? Someone's earning their useless salary I guess.

Also, note that while I am doing this I am sitting perfectly still for optimum cellular reception quality. I also have what I'm pretty sure is a cell tower literally 40 feet away, on top of the building next to me.

'Amanda' is an idiot.

I'm a posting maniac tonight

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 02:31:14 GMT

This site is a gift from the Gods Who Want Me (and you) to Look Good

http://www.dietfacts.com/fastfood.asp

I eat too much fast food, because I'm lazy and it tastes good to me, and hey, I can afford it (I think...?).

I've been looking for a site like this for years, literally.

good news about zinc oxide, mineral munchers

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 00:26:10 GMT

nlm.nih.gov says that even if you EAT a bunch of it:

"Because of the basic nontoxic nature of zinc oxide, recovery is very likely."

What about inhalers?

Is Foot Powder a child killer? Read this post to find out

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 00:21:23 GMT

I just bought a bottle of foot powder, Dr. Scholl's Medicated, that is, to soothe the rash this fucking brutal summer gave me.

It's sort of cool, because it's just Zinc Oxide in cornstarch, and zinc is that mineral we need to be healthy! So I just put some on, and I was just thinking "shit, hope I didn't inhale any of that. I remember hearing about how talcum powder actually accumulated in kid's lungs, and I hope this isn't similar (corn starch is the base, and not talc, but hey, inhaling metal can't be good)."

So I read the label

WARNING: For external use only. Do not use on broken skin. Keep powder away from child's face to avoid inhalation, which can cause breathing problems.

And then it goes on to talk about avoiding contact with the eyes, etc...

Kind of a cliffhanger there gentlemen!

breathing problems is kind of a vague thing. Is it like a tickle in the back of your throat, or am I gonna have my trachea shut like an anus?

To compound the issue, one thing I did inhale recently was a big bag of freshly vaporized dope, so it's gotten me a little paranoid here people.

Anyway, if nothing else, this post can serve as a helpful aide to any coroner searching for a cause and time of death due to tracheanusosis, right?

Here is a picture of a dog running out of someone's trachea...

a pretty good satire of every movie trailer ever made

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 13:24:57 GMT

http://www.themodernhumorist.com/mh/0203/moviecliche/moviecliche.mp3

Refresh Rates, Staring Far Away, and the Brain

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 00:59:22 GMT

Something I find very enjoyable, and yet unexplainable, is sitting on my balcony and just trying to see things as far as away as possible. Today I watched a bright light, like a star, rise up into the smog and disappear. I figure it was just the bright light of an approaching plane, whose path intersected my view for a moment while turning.

But I find my brain seems to just change while doing this. It's like everything I think of as 'stress' melts away, and my brain is actually busy at something, and thus unable to occupy itself with extraneous noise.

Then I think of what I do, for probably 14 hours a day, every day, is stare into a monitor that refreshes its reality 100 times a minute (sometimes I watch television, and its slower rate of refresh seems to be very soothing, I'm sure you know).

What does this activity then do to my brain?

Is is a stretch to note that arguably our most complicated organ next to the brain, the eye, is directly wired up to it like a mixer to a set of Marshall stacks?

So if what goes in our eyes can alter our brains, what are the consequences of that to the brain?

I'm sort of introverted so...

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 01:15:04 GMT

...when I sneeze I really let loose.

It's my chance to really shine.

whip out your dongs

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 02:34:41 GMT

phronq's score was...well go see it you nerd!

a robust e-solution, going forward

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 17:59:54 GMT

Remember I posted about those undeletable files in Windows XP?

Well, I found a simple and yet genius solution through Google, finally (in this case the magic search words were "undeletable files"). I slightly modified some bits because the instructions seem to be for an older version of Windows. So now, of course, I claim full and complete credit for this:

Open a Command Prompt window and leave it open.

Close all open programs.

You now need to close explorer.exe. Ctrl-Alt-Delete - Processes - right click explorer.exe - End Process

Go back to the Command Prompt window and change to the directory where the undeletable file is located in. At the command prompt type "del filename" where "filename" is the file you wish to delete.

Ctrl-Alt-Del again to bring up Task Manager, click File, New Task and enter explorer.exe to restart the GUI shell.

Close Task Manager.

Finally list_of_all_my_crimes.doc is deleted!

hey gang

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 11:09:48 GMT

Word is it's going to be hot and humid today. This should be a refreshing change of pace! I'm curious to see how it feels.